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Season 1, Episode 9 · 2 years ago
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Season 1, Episode 9 · 2 years ago
Step Brothers: "It's the F****** Catalina Wine Mixer!"
ABOUT THIS EPISODE
Hi Everyone, and welcome back to another episode of how have we never seen this before? This week we watched step brothers. Join us as we discuss how we watched two entirely different movies, our adventures as roommates in Australia and that time we had a band. This is a podcast where two best friends talk about movies they've never seen before. I'm Isabelle and I'm Lauren, and this is how have we never seen this before? This week's winner of our guests the movie contest is actually the winner of our very first guests the movie contest, our friend Mikaela DLC. So congrats, Michaela, and if you want to be the winner of our guests the movie contest and be featured at the beginning of our episode, make sure to follow us on Instagram at how have we never boadcast? Gooday, afternoon, everybody. Hello, today has been quite the day, quite a day. We haven't even started recording yet. Oh my goodness. So today we're talking about the best movie of all time. I'm getting today we're talking, say, today, talking about step brothers, with the Will Ferrell and John C Riley. Yes, indeed we are. We really needed a break from sad or dramatic movies after the joker last week. So we picked the least serious movie of all times, and I think that we we were right right about like it really serious movie of all time. Yeah, I don't I'd love to like be inside their brains and understand how they come up with this is no offense, but the work of boys. Oh yeah, I don't think. I mean, maybe someone can take offense to that, but I don't know. It's just the truth. It really is. This is boy humor. If I'm sorry, but you picked it. I know because, okay, I should have known, because my brothers are always like who you need to watch step brothers? Oh really, it's the funniest movie ever. I'm like, okay, you really hyped it up, because my brother is a film major, so like I thought he would pick fantastic, funny movie. Well, we are talking about this earlier, but it's just like it's hard, when you want to watch movies that your men, to just like forget about the world around you when you're watching them and just like laugh at the movie. Yeah, there are some movies that you're supposed to be able to just immerse yourself in and this is one of them. Just forget about everything else and be in the movie. But it's really hard to enjoy a movie like that when you have to analyze it and take notes on everything. So I feel like I'm floating above the movie looking, looking in on it, that I'm just being in the moment. Yeah, it's still fun to talk about it. Yeah, we get to chat. Have a chat com I have a chat with me every that's so far. I've done a horrible accent. We should watch like Love Island, as like Review Love Island. Do you have good chat? I miss it. Okay, so we get into it. Let's get into it. So again, before the movie begins, there's a quote on the screen. I don't know how you felt about this quote, but it says families is where our nation finds hope. We're wings take dream and it is a quote from more glorious President First Push. Yeah, like George Bush as much as you like Joan didn't. I can't say I do. Actually. Well, anyway, after this quote disappears from the screen, we see a man, I want to call a boy Um, making nachos and like that's how we make Nachos whenever we you and little concern. Then we come back and it's one in the morning. We make Nachos, just like deal those microwave Nacho time. When I was a freshman in college, my friends and I thought we discovered microwave Nachos, like we actually thought that we discovered them, but that's been a thing since microwaves were around. So really, really dumb.
Oh, and also a punk by vampire weekends playing at this point. Yes, I wrote Great Song. I couldn't remember what song it was. It is a great song. Basically, we see these two men and they're asking their parents for money for pizza or like whatever, because their parents are going to a conference, just like I hope this isn't awesome. We're older because we don't have jobs. Why, why did you have to say that? I that was not my thought at all. That was my thought. I'm concerned for my future. Listen, we could end up like them. I don't know, bra it's a possibility. Okay, I don't even want to think about that possibility. So therefore, I will be moving on to my next point, which is that the mom from Elf is in this movie with Will Ferrell. She's also the mom from the proposal. Oh Yeah, you're right. I love that movie so good. That is a great movie. But so we see the parents. They are going to a conference or something. It's about. They're talking about cochlear implants, not that it's important movie at all. The the DAD is making a presentation and there's like a light, just like a spotlight, on the mom, who sitting in the crowd and she's wearing like light blue while everyone else is in black, and he just stares at her. And then they go to their room and they hook up and they're talking about how they both have sons that are forty years old and they still live at home. But Times. Okay, my eye is now twitching after you made that point. Well, point the point about us being them. It's not going to happen, hopefully. I hope not. So then it cuts to the wedding between Nancy and Robert. We don't know how long they dated for, but it's not long at all. They kind of rushed into it. Yeah, I'd say probably like a couple weeks. Yeah, and the one thing, though, I would not even guess that that mom's like fifty. Like maybe she's fifty. Yeah, and she has a forty year old son. But that would be crazy. I feel like she's older than fifty, but she doesn't look like it. But she is. Well, I think she probably is, but I couldn't like she doesn't look like it at all. I guess hard to believe, but that's not like that important. That's Hollywood for you. That's show Biz, baby. But yeah, so at the wedding they announced that they're going that the mom and her son, whose name is Brennan, are going to be moving in with the dad and his son, whose name is Dale, and Brennan is sitting in the back seat while his mom drives into the new house. And like, can you imagine, for saying your mom, it's like basically making her your were driver and you're in the back of the seat or in the back seat. I know that's really messed up, the way that they treat their parents. It's just awful, considering that they mooch off of them for everything. Like I get like what the deal's mom died and Brennan's parents got divorced and like relying them on them a bit more, but like they treat them so terribly. Yeah, I also think like maybe when you're that age you should have other people to rely on as well, like perhaps a significant other or just a friend, or maybe one friend. Yeah, it doesn't they don't appear to have any friends. I mean they're not nice people, so who would want to be friends with them? Yeah, and they don't really do anything, I guess. So why would they have friends? Yeah, so they show up at the I don't I is it like Robert? I think that's the dad. Yeah, Brennan and Nancy finally get to Robert's house and they're immediately greeted by their blind neighbor, and this was really distasteful. Like why did this need to be added into the movie at all? I don't know. I think it had to do with like the dog later or something. Yeah, but everyone, like many people have a dog. They could have just yeah, I don't know. It came across very ablest and I know that someone's going to listen to this podcast and be like, don't be so sensitive, but it's really messed up my yeah, like...
I you're not supposed to take it that seriously, but like I understand. Yeah, yeah, and it also like perpetuates the stereotype that blind people go around touching people's faces, which is not true. Yeah, but besides that, when Dale and Brennan friendly meet, like Brennan finally gets out of the car, he like walks up to Dale and is like down, I'm Brennan and feels like I'm Dale, but you have to call me dragon. It's like we you have to call me Nighthawk. And then they go inside to eat dinner and the mom, I don't know her name, Nancy, Oh Nancy Nancy, asks Dale what he does, like. Does he have a job, like what are his hobbies? He's like why? Manager? A Baseball League, and she's like, Oh, like little league? He's like no, it's a fantasy baseball league. Meanwhile they're eating chicken nuggets and French fries, while Robert and Nancy are eating fish and green beans, something like that. I mean you can never go wrong with chicken nuggets and French fries, or Vegan chicken nuggets and French veggie nuggets. So they're really good. Okay, sure they are, I'll try it sometime. And then Brennan or Robert Ass Brennan what he if he isn't he hot? Oh No, what happened? Well, anyway, Brennan says that he's a good singer, but his mom explains that he only sings in front of for particular people because of something that happened with a weight that comes up later. Brandon is a good singer, but he only sings in front of particular people. And then Dale starts to sing. He's like yeah, I can sing really well too, and then he ends up making fun of Brennan and Brannon starts to cry and the and Robert tells them that because Dale won't give up his drum set office, him and Brennan have to share a room. So Dale takes bread enough to show him the room and first they go into the drum set room, which Dale calls his his beat laboratory, and he also explains this. He's talking about some crazy rules that he has and Brennan and no one else is allowed to touch his drum set. Very important that no one touches his drum set. You don't ever, ever, ever touch my drum set. And then we see Grubbert and Nancy in bed and we find out that his dream, and kind of both of their dreams, is to sail across the world and Nancy Asks Robert why Dale never left and he said well, he coasted off of all of my accomplishments and he wanted to get into the family business after he quit college his junior year. But his dad is a doctor. And then ancy tells Robert why Brenda never left and it's because of this prank his brother played on him in high school. Pretty much. It's kind of humiliated him, I guess. Yeah, he was performing on stage and his brother and his friends replace the choir with themselves and started making fun of him. Yeah, and then everyone joined everyone in the audience joined in and even the mom joined in a little bit. And then his brother Derek went one until show because he lips sank, lipsync, lip, lip, lip sync, lip synced. Yeah, synked, ice, ice, baby. And then we see Dale and Brennan in their room together and I like Hey, are you wait? And that was us when we lived together. It was us. Itcause he didn't talk about how much we hated each other. Yeah, I wasn't expecting it to happen because first I wrote like all that was us, but then they're like, I hate you, I you. Yeah, we were good roommates. We were good roommates. I miss rooming with you. So we didn't have a lot of space to do activities. Know, if only we had a bunk bed. It's like them, but basically ends with them threatening each other before they fall asleep. Then you get into some sort of pranking montage between Brennan and Dale. Starts off with their on the sailboat and Dale Kicks Brennan into the Water and then he draws and iheart crystal meth shirt, or he draws I heart Christal meth on Brennan Shirt. And then, if you'd like to explain next one, okay, I don't...
...know how he does this, like I don't know how you wouldn't wake up to this, but Brennan like does very intricate effects, makeup effects, on Dale's face and like puts a giant scar, like a bloody scar, on his forehead. He's honestly pretty talented. Yeah, he's really dumbed do that and like, I guess Dale never looks in the mirror something, so he like walks around the town the next day with that on his face. But the the final prank, Brennan goes into the beat laboratory and he plays on the drum sets, the drum set very loudly and just like hits everything. But then nothing happens, like they must not be home when this happens. So we see Dale come home and brought in his lay on the couch. He's like, I was watching cops all day, like that's why I'm so sweaty. And Dale goes upstairs and goes into the drum set room and he measures exactly where each of the drums are, and they're all I guess they're all in the right place, except for he sees that the Drumsticks, one of them has a chip in it, which like those drumstick. I played drums for a while and my sticks were so chipped up, like I mean, I mean, wasn't that great? Maybe, I don't know, but like you were good. Thank you really good. But like my sticks were so chipped up, like there's no way they were only be one chip or like he wouldn't even be able to notice because there'd be so many on their already. Yeah, anyway, he also knows that cops doesn't start until for so Brennan couldn't have been spending all day watching cops. Yeah, he's he like when he goes to confront him, he's like, I know you touch my drumstick because there's a chip in it. And, like, I know you weren't laying here all day watching cops, because it doesn't start until for and then breading goes up to the drum set and he starts to play them again and then Dale attacks him. And how you want to say it? Well, what else do you want to say? HMM, okay. Also, I was watching this on free form, so I don't know if anything was cut out. Wait, you don't know. No, I funny. Wait, you actually did not see the scene. That I know. I must like I forgot about that because, like, a lot of things were like the words were different, like there was an entire part where everything was dubbed. So, Oh my God, I must even not watch the same movie as me. Then, okay, well, I'll actually inform me. Then that means that I have to say what I'm about to say. Well, no one is explicit. Yeah, so Brennan goes back up to the drum set and starts rubbing his his I can be bit out cold say that word. Oh my God, I'm immature. And he starts, you know, doing that to the drum set and you didn't see that, right. No, I did not see that at all. Wait, backtracking. Did you see what his brother was singing when he was up on stage? Yeah, that was in there. Okay, okay, I don't know why. I don't know how they chose to cut things out. Okay, let me know if there's any other places where you think that like maybe it was dubbed. Okay, but yeah, so then right after that, Dale Starts Choking Brennan with the headphone. And Yeah, so then something happens. They get pushed into the wall, they rolled down the stairs and now they're outside fighting. Oh, but before that, his drum room is is covered in soundproofing. I was thinking of because clearly I missed a huge part of this. But like where my mind was at that time was we're do you remember when we had our band room and we had to pay for all that soundproofing because no one else wanted to like howls our band? Yeah, that was awful. Yeah, we were. We were put in the basement of our like arts building, and the basement is like actually known for being haunted in really creepy. Probably has asbestos in it, Oh, I'm sure. And we pretended to be a ghost one time, but we scared people. Yeah,...
...so when they're Oh, while they're fighting, before they roll outside. Also, I thought it was really funny when Brennan was hitting the Bass Pedal of the drums and it kept hitting him in the head hitting down ahead. That was funny. But once they roll down the stairs and like break the wall for mowing down the stairs and they're outside, the neighbor's dog comes and attacks Brennan, which I guess is the only reason they have the blind man and the dog in the movie or something. Can you just have a guy in his dog? Yeah, but the dad gets a Robert gets a call from Nancy like being hysterical because this fight is going on, and when he gets home we see Nancy with a hose just like trying to, I don't know, try and separate them with it, and the whole the whole neighborhood has gathered at this point. Everyone's watching, they're like cheering on the fight. And then they one of them has a golf club in the other has a baseball bat, and then they hit you and like knock each other out with them. But once they come to, Robert says that both of them need to get a job within a month or they're kicked out, and they also need to fix the drywall which they broke when they rolled down the stairs, and they also are grounded with no TV for a week and then they're sent to bed. Yes, okay. So then we cut to them sleepwalking. Apparently they both sleepwalk all the time and just destroy the house. They completely rip up the kitchen. I don't know how the parents didn't hear it. Yeah, I have no idea. They're kind of oblivious. So then the next morning Nancy and Robert Come downstairs and notice that the kitchen is absolutely destroyed and they know that it is both of their sons, because one leaves a purse in the refrigerator and the other one leaves couch pillows in the oven. That's like, I've never experienced sleepwalker really. So is that like normal? I was about to ask you that really do crazy things and they sleepwalk. Like, I know you're not supposed to wake people up, but I don't I don't know if people put things places. What happens in a realistic situation when you wake someone up if they're sleepwalking, like, what are the effects, because the movie kind of exaggerated that. I think it. I think it actually can be dangerous because they don't know where they are. They don't know who you are right when you wake up, like I don't like. Maybe they're depending on whatever they were dreaming. There could be some sort of fight or flight thing and if maybe they're near stairs or whatever, but I don't I don't think it's like what they do. I don't think goes to that extreme. But I think likes my favorite right about this some aspects of it. But then when they wake up, Britain undail. The next morning we find out that Brnon's brother Derek is coming to visit. Today. We see Derek in the car with his wife and two children and they they start singing acapella. It's just I just wrote I hate them. They're saying love the Sun. Oh my God, the song that they're singing is a sweet child of mine and it's probably the most iconic part of the movie, like most memorable, I'd I think. Really, I don't know. I feel like I see that that clip on tick tock all the time and it also like has a sound to I've seen I've seen the the clip of of the drum set. Like I don't know why I knew that. I knew about the drum set. I knew they fought over the drum set. I guess this movie is just well known all around. But so they while they're singing, they each get like a little solo and when he points to the mom Alice, he's like you're flat, like. Stop saying like I paid twelve hundred dollars a week for lessons than you're flat like. So the dad at Derek then is he's like, I'll save it with with this solo, and then he's like driving crazily because he's not paying attention, but he just keeps singing. And then they're at the the house and Derek's telling this story about I don't know what, but the dad gets mad at Dale Window asks ask the question about Derek story is like why do you keep interrupting, like because it's like the dad's like in love with Derek, because Derek's everything that he wishes dale or Brennan would be. But Brandon's not even at the table for dinner. He's in the tree house out back. So then Dale's upset with Derek and his dad, and so he goes out there and Derek is talking to Robert about how he could sell their house right now and they could leave...
...and go on the boat. So Robert Really takes it to heart. But then Derek goes into the tree house too and he's like making fun of Dale and Brennan. I don't remember how this happened, but like he shows them his ABS, but they're very clearly not his ABS, his fake ABS, and he's like, Oh, you look like you want to punch me in the face, and then he's I just punch me, and then Dale Punches Derek in the phase and he falls out of the tree house, which was great. He also calls them the F slur the entire movie and it's I think that was cut out a really yeah, they must have set it at least ten times and I just think, like that's just such a lazy way of trying to be funny. Yeah, I I think we experienced slightly different movies. Yeah, well, I watched more offensive version. I think. Unum, like maybe maybe it wasn't, maybe people weren't so offended by that word like back in two thousand and eight or so, whenever this movie was released, but I feel like nowadays, like I'm glad that they took that part out because curing it is like kind of weird these days and I think it's just such a lazy way of trying to be funny, because saying an awful offensive word is not really that funny. Yeah, I always wonder, like how movies like like this would do. Now I don't I don't think they even be written. I don't. I don't think they'd make it past whatever phase warm of producing a movie. And like I think that if your comedy is just like you trying to be offensive. For example, I was watching this movie reviewer review like one of Shane Dawson's movies, and he like he thought that comedy, like Shane Dawson, thought that comedy was just like how outrageous and how offensive you could be, like take every joke and just maximize its offensive. And I feel like that that like kind of stunts like your creativity, because if you can make a funny, funny movie that doesn't offend anyone, I feel like that is the true testament to your humor. I'm trying to I don't know what I would consider to be a funny movie that wouldn't offend anyone. I like, I I haven't been offended by movies, but that doesn't mean someone else hasn't you know, but I don't know what I would even pick right now. Yeah, so after Derek Gets Punch in the face, they're going to leave, but before they leave, Derek's wife comes up to Dale and it's like, thank you for punchect Derek in the face. My wife Sucks. I hate him, and is like returned on by Dale, which is disgusting, and they have the most disgusting kiss in the world. Is just deals, just kind of standing there and Alice is going at it, Yep, and then she gives Dale her phone number before she leaps. But now now that Dale's hit Derek, Brennan and him or friends, because the enemy of my enemy is my friend, exactly. I finally have someone new to hate and like bond over because your hatred. So then they like show each other. There's prized possessions and Brennan has a sword that is signed by Randy Jackson. Well, there's like a smudge on it that is Randy Jackson signature, and Dale has night vision Goggle, which is actually kind of cool, but yeah, that is cool. Then they start naming things at the same time. The first thing is name like your favorite dinosaur, and they go three two one. They both say velocirap ractor, which is like not even a real dinosaur. It's not. I'm pretty sure a velociraptor was created by the Jurassic Park Franchise. Really, let me look that up just in case I sound stupid. Everything you know about Veloci rafters is a lie. Okay, so I guess it isn't real. The last raptors were actually only about oh so there was a species called velociraptor, but they're actually only about the size of a domesticated Turkey. Oh okay, they looked like a Turkey but with a long tail and they were like a bird. I think in the later, like a newer Jurassic Park movies, I think they get them accurately. Then the verdict on velociraptors is that the name existed, but those minosaurs did not, at least how we generally know them. Yeah, so after they're like naming all these things and they go to do karate in the garage and Robert is getting scared that they're starting to like each other. So Dale and Brendan come into their parents room and are like, can we turn our beds into bunk bed I think you missed too fart. Oh Really? Yeah, did you have like the measurement in there? No, Oh, so, why do I have to explain the awkward parts? Okay, so it also in the montage shows them having a sword...
...fight. That's all all say. And then they also compare lengths. That's also all I'll say. Oh my God. Okay, so I guess after all that, then they asked to turn their beds in the bunk beds. Yes, per okay. So they're like, you know, you're adults, right, you don't have to ask us to do this. And they're like, we want to have more room to do activities, and I was just like, can you imagine how many more activities we could have done if we had bunk bed I was literally picturing our space in urban nest. urbanest was a building that we lived in in Australia, but Um, I was picturing like what our room would look like if we had, if we put our beds on bunk beds. I think I would have been so fun. What would we have done? I don't know, I don't know. It would sort of been more fun. We could turn it into a dance floor and we could have those girls that lived next was hitting us even more. So they build a bunk beds out of hockey sticks and whatever other would they can find, I guess. So then they go to get into the beds and Dale goes to the the top bunk and ask it's on it's. It falls apart and crushes Brennan's and Dal's like running into their paratroom. He's like there's blood everywhere and there's like a scratch and they're the dad, Robert. He's like, Bro Your interviews tomorrow. You guys should probably get ready for that. Yeah, so they have interviews for jobs so they don't get kicked out, and the next day the dad's like, yeah, you can just use my clothes. Just please get a job. So they both get dressed in tuxes and sneakers, which could work. Is a look, but not the sneakers they were wearing. And that's a job interview, like Seth Rogan said, maybe if you're trying to be ironic. Yeah. So first they go I don't know what the first job interview was for, like a janitor's job, and they interview as a team. So Brandon's in and then Dale's sitting behind him and he just can't say her name, which is Pam. And then with the second interview they're they're like, why don't we interview you instead of you interviewing us, and there's like so, how much money do you make in a year pre tax? At the next interview they're reviewing the interviewers, reviewing their references, and Brennan put Jesus Christ as his reference. Same the interviewers. Also Seth Rogan at the third interview, and I don't really know what it is there is on before that. Therefore that'th Rogan? Yeah, well, so's. I don't think seth rogen talks about Jesus. The last interview is Seth Rogen and he's he's like he thinks it's ironic that they have on the tuxes and he thinks it's funny that they're interviewing is a team. But then Dale has the longest part in the world and then he's like real things and is like, you know what, never mind, I realize now that your Tux is weren't supposed to be ironic. So their interviews all go bad and then as they're walking home they decide that there's just going to pick the wrong career room. Room and they're going to start their own entertainment company called Prestige Worldwide, and they're like let's get to work. But before they can get to work, they have to get home, home, but they can't go down the one street right now because Dale gets beat up on that street around this time of day. But Brendan is like we gotta go that. You got to face your fears. So the people that beat Dale up for a group of middle schoolers. Once again, the use of the F slur is so annoying and not funny. That's my opinion. I didn't hear it, not that I was ignoring it or anything, it just wasn't in my movie now, but I'm glad that they took it out because it's very insensitive, to be sad. Yeah, so when they get there, they're like making fun of both Runn and Dale and then they start to beat them up because Brennan won't lick a Dog Turd that's on the ground. So the kids like ride a see saw and like they're down. Brenden are either like underneath the seats of either Ed and like the kids like hit them in the face with the seesaw and then they make Brennan Lick the dog Turd and then they basically just get beat up. Finally they make it back home and the mom is like like just don't go down that street anymore and their dad...
...is furious for the interviews and it turns out that Derek is at the House and ice, ice baby starts playing, and then they find out that their parents are selling the house sail around the world and they from when I could tell, seemed like the dad like pretty much force the mom into it. Yeah, it didn't seem like she wanted to do it right away. Yeah, but so they he's like we're going to give you the money for a security deposit at an apartment and we're also going to give you the money to go to therapy. So you're getting kicked out. Nice to see someone finally in these movies getting help through therapy. Yeah, but it's not like good. I guess only this where the end of Black Swan. So then it's that night and Brennan is like practicing with his sword side by Randy Jackson how to kill Derek because it's all Derek's fault. And then they're like prestige worldwide is the only thing that can save our family. But deals like Brendon, you have to sing for me. So Brennan Sings for Dale and then Dale starts crying because it's so good, like we've got to make a music video and we have the and like this music video is going to fix everything. It would and we gotta do something about Derek and him selling this house. So the next we see there at the therapy um or not? Yeah, there's, there's seen that free form must to cut out there. Yep. So basically Brennan is dressed up like a member of no heat, Brennan's dressed up like a Nazi and Dale is dressed up like a member of the KKK, and immediately they scare off the first potential buyers and then they're at therapy. Yeah, okay. So then Dale's like telling a therapist that his life story, which is a story of good will hunting, and then Brannan's like has a different therapist and is talking to him about one his or her about when his parents got divorce, and then he's like I love you to the therapist and then the next thing they do is like pretend that Dale killed brunning. When another group of home buyers comes in and he's like wrapped in a shower curtain. Well, the day like they also try to blame it on potential asbestos. Asbestos. Yeah, he said as best those well, I never know how to say I feel like I always say as best has but that I hear people say his best Stossto. So they also blame it on asbestos. So then we're at Derek's birthday dinner and there's they're just like all of Derek's like awful friends are there. But Dale ends up going to the bathroom and Alice corners him there and then forces him pretty yeah, yeah, yeah, it was yeah, to have sex her and then she pee's in the urinal. Yeah. This seemed made me so uncomfortable because Dale didn't really give his consent. Yeah, yeah, but he said he really likes her. So you after that. Yeah, it was just weird. So I guess if that's what he that's what he wants, then that's fun. Fine. Anyway. Moving on. So then Dale and Brent, when they come back, they say that they have an announcement for the family and they and this is like their birthday present to Derek. They like this opportunity is your birthday present. So they show them the presentation that they made for prestige worldwide, and then they show them the music video that they have created, which super cool, but they end it by smashing their dad's boat into the coastline and it's completely destroyed. Yes, the music video is called boats and hose. So the parents. Then they're going home and the parents are arguing the car, but the boat, and Nancy saying how Roberts not supportive of their kids and he calls them a failure or cause them failures, and it's not looking good for for the family, specially their marriage. Yeah, so then we see that it's Christmas Eve and and instead of sending time with them on Christmas Eve, the dad leaves and he's like, I'm going to the cheesecake factory. DID DRINK? Yes, that I don't. I feel like you go to the cheesecake factory to have some dank food, some large portions of...
...some clog your artery. So when he get home, Nancy's like, you smell like Scotch and cheesecake. And then the boys sleep walk into the room and they're like dragging in all the Christmas presents and like throwing them around. Nancy's like yelling at Robert like don't wake them up, don't wake them up, like you're gonna harm them or yourself. And but he doesn't care. You wake them up anyway. They throw him down the stairs and he breaks the wall again. Yeah, Yep, I don't know if that's quite what happens when people sleep walk and you wake them up, but okay, yeah, like maybe if you're right by the stairs, but I think that's where you draw the line. But then it's Christmas Day and at dinner the parents announced that they're separating and getting a divorce. And I don't know how long it's been, like I don't hesit even been a year. I don't really know how to judge the timeline of this. But the MOM is saying how she doesn't blame the kids, like it's not their fault, and but the dad is like this is all their fault. Yeah, and the boys are crying. I wrote boys. Huh, the boys are crying, and then, oh, I wrote boys too. Then Dale's crying so hard he throws up. And then it's maybe the next day, like somewhere within maybe you put a few weeks and they're selling the house. And we did. I miss something. Did I not have something? You miss the whole Um. Oh my God, so you Miss Alice and Dale's rendezvous. I definitely didn't have that. Oh my God, of course I have to explain this. Okay. So, basically, while they're sitting at the table, Alice rights with her food. She said me right now, and basically they both get up at the same time to go do something, but like they're having sex. And then they're in the middle of like having sex in the next room and everyone can hear what's going on and the door, this was not in my movie at all. The door flies open and and Dale is inside of Alice. Oh my God, we're just standing there like she's in the front, he's in the back and they're like frozen in time, just like standing there like ever is like what are you doing and they're like, Um, I was giving her a massage, and so they're just like standing there like mean, while he's still inside of her, and then they like back away slowly, close the door, continue having sex and then the door flies open again and she's like in his arms doing it that way and he's like yeah, I'm just showing her this yoga pose, and everyone believes him what? You didn't see any of that. I didn't see any of us, okay. And then, Um, the sun like the the youngest son says that he got a bow flex for Christmas and the daughter says that she wants breast implants for Christmas. Yeah, also funny how it's another Christmas movie. Wow, my movie must have been a lot shorter than yours. Yeah, I was like an hour forty five minutes, I'd be. I think that mine was only like an hour and thirty minutes. Oh well, that happened. So yeah, so then they're selling the house and the boys need to leave by tomorrow, so they eat whipped cream for dinner on paper plates and then they go to bed, but none of their stuff is packed or anything. I was like how Eng Could you possibly move by tomorrow? And the boys start arguing about like all of this, and then Brennan like goes to the drum set and Dale Hits Brennan on the head with the symbol and he he it seems like he passes out and then Dale's Dragon Brennan outside Burg Him in the yard. Then Brennan Wakes up and starts to bird dale instead and like completely covers him and then he like pops out of the ground and they start fighting again and they just like fall asleep in the yard. So then the next day they wake up and they decide that they're going to make a plan to get their parents back together, and so brend great. Yeah, so they don't decide to do this together, they decide to do it on their own. Yeah, okay. So Brennan Asks for a job from Derek and...
...gets employed and he also asks his therapist how to be a grown up, which might need some tips on that one too, and they both get apartments and Dale also gets a temp job for a keytering agency, HMM, working with fire and honestly, they become like actual adults, yeah, like pretty pretty quickly. Yeah. So maybe if they just had some sort of discipline, not like discipline, but if it is tried. Yeah, maybe if they had consequences for their behavior from the beginning, they would have been adults twenty years ago. Yeah. So it's like several weeks, maybe a couple months. I'm you're not. I'm not really sure, but Brennan is talking to one of his superiors at Derek's, where Derek works, and he's like, I want the Catalina wine mixer, like I I can handle it, like let me have it, and it's like a it's a mixer where they talk about helicopters, like Derek owns a helicopter leasing business or something. Yeah, right. So he gets it. And so dale is working with the catering company, like they hired. He'd hired Dale's catering company for it. And the singer the band that's there's like a billy Joel cover band and they're everything is pretty much set up so that the parents get back together. Yeah, they're. The parents are both invited. Yeah. So then Dale and Brennan are talking in front of their parents and like saying all their adult things, like they're adult thing. I don't know. They sound normal. They sound normal, and the parents like realize why, why everything's happening, and then we see that the cover band singer is getting upset because this guy is making requests but they only do billy Joel covers from the s and they can't. He's like no, like we're not doing that and he gets escorted off the safe by security. And then, because this happens, Derek Fires Brennan and and Robert, their dad, is like you need to go up on the stage and perform like you can do this, like no one's there right now but your I see a drummer and a singer, like you both could do this, but Brendan is too scared. So Dale goes alone and starts playing drums and Derek starts making fun of him. But then Brennan works up the courage to go on stage and saying we also the DAD, Robert. He gave them a pep talk by saying, like I used to be obsessed with dinosaurs when I was he he's like, I used to be obsessed with dinosaurs when I was a kid. Up until I was seventeen, I would just always walk around the neighborhood pretending to be a dinosaur, and my dad told me to stop and get a job. And so he he lost his dinosaur, meaning that he doesn't he doesn't know how to have fun, he doesn't know how to be weird. And then he said to his sons, don't lose your dinosaur, and I thought that was really sweet. Yeah, basically saying always be yourself. Honestly, I think that dad should get one of those blow up dinosaur costumes just walk around. That would be good for him. So yeah, so then once Brennan goes up and start singing. He's singing opera or something. He's saying Poorti velare. Why do I know that? I don't know. So, basically everything just starts to work out. The therapists or for some reason, she's like shows up as she like realizes that she loves Brennan, and then Derek realizes that he loves his brother and then the parents realize that they love each other again, alice loves Dale and everything's working out, and then alice like meets Dale at some like overlook and it's like, I want to be with you, like we kind of missed a little bit. Oh, you, you go, you go. Okay. Um. So they end the Catalina wine mixer performance by everyone saying the iconic quote, it's the fucking catalina wine mixer. And so Derek has this epiphany where he decides to be a good guy now, or is trying, and Derek and Brennan engage in an Awkward Hug and it reminds me of our we talked about this last time, right, maybe during book smart. Yeah. So, yeah, you guys know the drill about our hugging or laughter. It's like once a year. So then, after the Awkward Hug, Brennan, Brennan's therapist, comes up to the family and she says that she was legally obligated to come because of some scary stuff that Brennan was saying,...
...and he introduces her as his girlfriend. It's like no, I'm not, I'm your therapist. And then yes, so now we get up to the alice part. Yeah, and Alice is like telling Dale that she wants to be with him and how she hates her life with Derek and but Dale's like no, we have to we have to end this, but she won't give up. So He's like, Oh, look at that whale, and then he runs away, and that was then it transitions to like a dinner and that. Yeah, this is six months later. Yeah, okay, I wasn't sure if it was the same for you. So they're at a dinner and Derek's like telling a story, but then Robert cuts him mom he's like, Derek, we talked about this. I got to give space for for Dale running. So Dane Brennan have a karaoke business and it's doing really well. They're in, I think, like nine bars or something in their ton more want them, hmm. And then their dad says that he has a surprise for Dale and Brennan and he leaves them out to the backyard with like a blindfold on and we see that he transformed the boat that they crashed into a tree house. It's really cool. We also see that Brennan is dating the therapist from before. Yeah, yeah, so then the the credits play and it shows a scene of Brennan and Dale beating up their elementary school bullies. Oh, I didn't see that really. Oh my gosh, I I heard there's like commentary kind of an and it was like Dale asking Brennan if she if he actually touched the drum set. Yeah, that was at the end of that scene. Huh, I didn't have that scene at all. I was just that maybe they didn't want to show kids getting beat up. Yeah, probably. Um. Okay, so now that the movie is finally over, I'm ready for my question. My question you is okay, out of the two of us, who is Brennan and who is Dale? Who? Um, I don't know. Um, I think well, I don't know. I'm like thinking maybe your Dale. I feel like you don't want to be either of them. There's like not a good choice either way. Yeah, I'm trying to remember why, but I had you as Dale and me as Brennan. Was it the drums? Oh, yeah, it was a drums okay, yeah, I don't know. I feel like that's a hard one. Okay, that was a lame question. I can't think of anything else. I'm for you. You'RE gonna ask me a question. Yeah, okay. When are we starting our Karaoke business? Listen, we have so many businesses that you and I have to start, like, remember, actually finish. Yeah, Remember Her candle business? That that would have really hit it all. I know, I on a slee I think we if we started a karaoke business, we could only offer one song, Valerie, yes, and that would be balley. I know you were going to say that could be fun time. Isabel and I did Karaoke to Valerie if it's really bad. It was so fun, though. That was one of the most fun experiences I had in Australia. Yeah, we all went bowling and there's like a Karaoke Karaoke rooms in the bowling alley too, which is fun. Yeah, good times. Yeah, now we can't do anything. If you want to be featured on our podcast as the winner of our guests and movie contest, make sure to follow us on Instagram at how we never podcast, and also follows on facebook at how we never seen this before, and we'll see you next week. Yeah, see Ya, bye. Bye. Hey, congratulations, you've made it to the end of our podcast. We hope you enjoyed listening. How have we never seen this before? Is produced by is B barone. The music is by Scott Holmes. The podcast art is by Michael Beaumont over at monitor comics, and our social media is run by Lauren Cola. Thanks for listening.
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